Purple Dragon

Your eye ~amazing pics~
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You are the eye of mystery.

You always have questions on your mind and you always want them answered. People probly ignore you every time you ask them something...and you want to know why that everyone does this. Sometimes you wish you wouldn't ask so many questiones and that you could be someone else but look on the bright side - no one else is ever going to be like you. You are unique and different and that's probably why people are a little hesitant around you. Dare to be different - it's not the greatest thing to be like everyone else. Ask all the questions in the world - before you know it you will have the answers, you will know more things. Being different is a gift - honor it.

Merry Christmas, Light Yule, Joyous Noel, and a Happy New Year and Happy Hogmaney to all.

My better half is on his way home as I type, and as I rarely hit the PC when he is here, it isn't likely that I shall 'speak' to you all again until the New Year, when he goes back to work.

Have a great one, guys, and I look forward to reading all about it in the 2006!

The Office for National Statistics ("there are lies, damn lies and statistics" leaps immediately to mind) have published this years Top 10 Baby Names in the UK.

THE TOP 10 GIRLS' NAMES
1. Jessica (my daughter has a dolly named Jessica)
2. Emily (my neighbours middle daughter)
3. Sophie (my old neighbours eldest daughter)
4. Olivia (my neighbours baby)
5. Chloe (my cousin's firstborn)
6. Ellie (in the toddler group)
7. Grace (a different cousin's firstborn)
8. Lucy (old neighbours middle child)
9. Charlotte (my oldest friend)
10.Katie (my niece)

THE TOP 10 BOYS' NAMES
1. Jack (don't know any)
2. Joshua (don't know any)
3. Thomas (an uncle and a cousin)
4. James (BIL)
5. Oliver (don't know any)
6. Daniel (don't know any)
7. Samuel (don't know any)
8. William (don't know any)
9. Harry (don't know any)
10. Joseph (don't know any)

So I guess the folk I know are more mainstream with their daughters names.

Oh, this one is brilliant!

Rate your lesbianity. Seriously!

www.seethru.co.uk/games/quiz/lesbian.htm

Here are my results:

Lezza, whatever. If it moves, you'll consider it. You are either a greedy bisexual, or you are greedy-bisexual-curious. You want to have your cake and eat it. Of course. Why have cake and not eat it? That would be stupid. Make sure you save a piece for me (slut)

Man, this took me AGES! I cannot believe how many times I got questions wrong and had to start from scratch. Great fun!

http://www.carols.org.uk/christmas-quiz.htm

I have an en suite shower. We had a leak that we noticed because of the dark stain that appeared on the ceiling of the entrance hall. Ger decided to investigate, and in doing so, managed to pull about 15 tiles off the shower wall, rendering it unusable.

A short while later, he decided to put the tiles back on. Later that night, I heard a massive clatter as re-attached tiles, having tasted freedom, decided to make a break for it. The tiles still sit in the bottom of the shower cubicle, awaiting the day we get round to calling the handyman to come fix them back up. Alternatively, for the day we can afford the couple of grand it will take to redesign the ensuite how I want it. Not happening

So, we were, as a family, relegated to the family bathroom, which has a shower over the bath, and which had a glass panel to stop the water spraying all over the floor. You might remember that said glass panel nearly removed DS's foot at the ankle a short while ago, necessitating a trip to the local A&E? So - that shower became unusable as well.

We are fortunate in that we have one of those boilers that heats up the water as you use it. I can remember when I was a kid. You would put on the hot water / immersion heater for an hour so you could have a bath, and then Dear Sister would nip in there and use all the water , leaving you either fragrant or sitting waiting for another hour for your turn.

So, we can have baths, to our hearts content. Our we could. Right up until 2 days ago when Rachel was seen wandering off with the bath plug. She put it down somewhere, and you can't really expect a one-year-old to answer the question "Rachel, honey, where's the plug?"

So we've been crouched in the bottom of the bath, washing ourselves with the hand held shower, shivering as our extremities were chilled with the early morning drafts.

I searched every nook and cranny of this house for that damn plug. I've been in every drawer, the bottom of every wardrobe, all the (many, many) pairs of shoes in the bottom of my wardrobe. Under beds, chests of drawers, zipped up suitcases.

After a quick prayer to St Anthony, (patron Saint of lost items), you will be pleased to know that I found the little blighter this morning. In the bathroom. Where I have had every single thing moved, lifted, shaken. There it was.

Now, I was sceptical when my MIL recommended St Anthony as a finder of lost things. Right up until Laura lost Ger's one and only car key for the one and only car I had up here at the time. Sent a prayer up to His Saintedness, and I practically walked straight up to the key which was sitting in an unlikely place on my 2 acres of grass.

This has happened twice with keys and now with the plug - so if you lose anything, and want immediate results, believe me - give it a shot.

What was I thinking??

I have just taken three bored children to Asda, three days before Christmas, alone.

Rachel decided she didn't want in the trolley, and kept climbing out. Not a good idea when you are only 1, and the trolley is way higher than you are using to climbing down from Fortunately, they have a waist strap to tie them in, but Rachel/Houdini was still getting out by wriggling her way up thru the strap. Right up until I pulled the adjuster so tight she probably has a line round her waist now

Laura - oh God don't talk to me about Laura. She was the Child from Hell. You know that kid who is driving everyone mental in the supermarket, running about, throwing themselves on the floor in the front of trolleys, bashing into pepople, sticking their fingers thru the tops of the yoghurt cartons? Well, that was my daughter today. In the end, at the till, she was jumping off the wee window shelf they have, and throwing herself in front of unsuspecting trolleys, so I grabbed her, put her on the shelf and told her that if she moved again, I was gonna leave her there. Bad Momma.

Anthony was marginally better. At least he kept going to find her for me when she did the disappearing act. He still wasn't very biddable though.

Thank God I don't have to go do that torture for another wee while. I'm knackered. Oh, and Nonny - they don't have any Christmas spirit in the Asda in Dyce.

Lori over at http://fineartist.blogspot.com/ just wrote a blog entry about the Venus of Willendorf.

I have a small copy of this fair lady, that I picked up many moons ago, from a wee shop in Glastonbury. This shop was down a little close. Can't remember what the shop was called though.

Anyway - I bought her because I wanted to get pregnant. I blessed her with water from Chalice Well, and then spent ages rubbing her breasts and belly (Buddha fashion) focussing on what I hoped would be my own impending fertility.

Three kids later, and she is sitting in my cabinet, where I still give her a little rub now and then :-)

I am also involved with a group of women who all had their children in the same month as I had my firstborn. A couple of those ladies had problems with fertility and an idol started making the rounds. For the life of me, I can't remember what the idol was, or who she/it belonged to, but I have put out the word for more info, and will post when I find out.

One of the ladies has a sister who had pretty much tried everything to get preggers. Usual rounds of medicos, slowly losing heart that she would ever feel those wee kicks inside. She now has two beautiful children, all without medical help, but with the large lump under her pillow of said idol.

There is a bloke called Charles Tait who has a webcam set up (in fact three) at Maeshowe, including inside.

Here's the link :

http://www.maeshowe.co.uk/index.html

Happy Solstice everyone! Tomorrow it gets lighter!

I have just flicked thru Sky News in between laundry and window washing. Latte break. Wish I hadn't now!

There was a report on there about two 24 year old parents who had neglected ther 5 children almost to the point of starvation. The examining Dr said that he hadn't seen anyone so malnourished as those children. Their house was wall to wall excrement and apparently the social services people who took the children out of there were gagging with the vileness of the place.

Now, I'm the first to admit that if I don't fancy cooking once in a while, I will take a run along to McDonalds instead. My kids don't live on 100% home cooked, nutritious food. Yes - I have chicken nuggets in my freezer.

However, when your 12 month old is passing maggots into his nappy, you really have to realise that there is something seriously wrong with your children.

What the hell were they doing??? I can only think - drugs. My mind can't get round any other explanation.

The facts:

Dad is in a hospice. Apart from having multiple cancer, emphysema, a chest infection and senile dementia, he is fine, so they are wantig his bed back.

They told Mum yesterday he could stay "as long as he needed to" but today - he has to go. They have recommended a place for him, and Mum has gone to visit it. She doesn't like it particularly. However, he moves in on Thursday, because they need his bed in the hospice.

They did say though that if his chest infection turns into pneumonia or something, he could stay after all. Are we hoping for pneumonia? Funnily enough - no we frickin aren't.

Mum has been advised by someone who should know better to "not tell" the govt that Dad is in a nursing home until after the New Year, mainly so that she doesn't have to complete loads of paperwork about it, but also so that she "doesn't lose his pension".

I just pointed out to her tonight that they will most likely backdate his move and that, if she has had the money, they will either take it out of her (meagre) pension, or demand it back in a lump sum.

She received a telephone call from my sister's nursing home today telling her that, although she has been paying her contribution towards Sue's care, and so have the health service, social services haven't been dipping into their pockets for their portion, and if they don't receive it, then Sue will be looking for a new place.

As Sue needs specialist care, and it was incredibly difficult to find her this new place anyway, (after her old place were no longer able to offer her the care she requires) finding her another place that can care for her down there is unlikely.

Honest to God - I just wanna go down and shake these frickin people. Have they no idea? My Mum is 67 years old. SIXTY SEVEN. She doesn't need this shit at her time of life, when her husband is dying, and she has no one to lean on.

Christ - I feel like a spare limb.

Mum got the results back from Dad’s tests yesterday. He hasn’t got cancer in his brain, but he does have senile dementia, which is what is causing the confusion, wandering and aggression. He was interviewed, with Mum there, by three different medical folk, who all recommended that he be taken into a nursing home.

They feel that because of his aggression and wandering, that Mum can’t cope with him. He has threatened her, and the staff at the hospice he is in now.

Anyway, I agree with their assessment 100%. He frightened me a bit when he was here, and he has just gotten worse. I don’t want Mum to have to deal with that. She also feels she can’t cope with him, and agrees with their assessment and recommendations.

She asked if there was a chance they could find a place for him up here, but they said he “won’t last that long” and he wouldn’t “survive the journey”. So we now think his lifespan is in weeks rather than months. They have also said that they are amazed that someone with the amount of cancer in the places he has it is still alive anyway.

So why am I mad? Well, one of Dad’s good friends phoned Mum last night to see how he got on with his tests. She told him, and explained about the nursing home. And he got all shirty with her! Asking her why he couldn’t come back and live with her, and when she explained why, he said he’d never seen Dad acting like that – almost accusing her of making it up! Mum’s gutted, and is now questioning her decision to not have him home. Ger sez the bloke should have Dad come live with him, and see how well he gets along

My pal Tracy has just had her first live duckling hatch! S/he is absolutely adorable, and they have him on webcam.

http://www.werain.co.uk/livewebcams.htm

What a day.

Dropped the boy off at school at 9am - late again. Fortunately by seconds rather than minutes, as is the norm.

Came back, get the girls dressed for the Toddler Group party. Had to re-dress Rachel - the dress she was going to wear is too small for her, all of a sudden. Had to hunt and hunt till I found something fairly party-ish, not needing ironed, and that fit.

Got to their party 10 minutes late - at 10.10. Loads of folk gave the girls Xmas cards - whoops We didn't do Toddler Group cards. Had some playing time, then went thru to the snack area and had some bits and pieces in a sleigh tray. Very novel - never seen them before! Back thru to the hall, and Santa turned up. I was a bit worried about Laura - would she cope with her first "real" Santa meeting? However, I needn't have worried. There was something in it for her (ie her present) so she was up there like a shot when her name was called. Both girls were given lovely books, in case you're interested.

Put Rachel to bed aas soon as she had finished her lunch - the party had been during her nap time.

2pm back down to the school for Anthony's party. His had been all afternoon, but the parents were invited to watch them see Santa and get their gift. All the boys were given a ball. Really good quality football as well. He's well chuffed with it.

So, now I'm sitting here, waiting for the phone to ring. Mum is getting Dad's latest results today. I'm not looking forward to the call, but on the other hand, I can't wait for her to call to stop me being on tenterhooks.

I am sitting here, hiding in my home-office. I have two extra children in the house tonight, and although they are adorable (I really like both of them) it is a Friday evening, they have the weekend ahead of them, and it's nearly Christmas. Shortened version - they're hyper.

Anyway, they just raided the kitchen (for the 3rd time since 3pm) and on their way back to the playroom, Anthony said something that I didn't quite hear. His wee friend (age 7) rejoined "You mustn't say that - that's the name of the Lord thy God, and you aren't allowed to say those words".

Also incredibly fascinating. Just goes to show that we (mankind) haven't got a clue about the world or the universe that we live in!

http://www.newscientistspace.com/article.ns?id=dn8455

The large object lurks beyond Pluto in the icy Kuiper Belt - astronomers are at a loss to explain its off-kilter orbit

Wow - this is fascinating! They have found evidence for the colonisation of north Europe earlier than was thought. Stone tools found in eastern England suggest that humans were there at least 700,000 years ago, 200,000 years earlier than anthropologists expected.

http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn8464

Dad has been hard work for Mum lately. His morphine has been increased, and they have been talking about putting him on medication for his confusion and aggression.

This morning, after a series of very hard nights for Mum, she had to call out the MacMillan nurse because he was pale, clammy, and effectively unconscious. They couldn’t get him to come to full wakefulness – he was very out of it. The nurse called the Dr, who called an ambulance, and he was admitted to the hospice. They have been talking about admitting him for observation, (and to give mum a rest), and his bed was to be ready on Monday.

Mum said that he allowed them to undress him, and went straight into his bed, with an air of relief. One wonders if, somewhere in there, he is aware of what is going on.

They are going to observe him, and give him both a body and another brain scan. They think the cancer has spread around a lot more, probably going into his stomach (which would account for his continual lower belly pain) and his brain (which would account for the mood problems).

Mum commented that he would likely feel better after a few days complete rest, and they said that they thought he would be in for ‘a bit longer’ than a few days. However, they can’t keep him for more than a fortnight. If it is any longer than that, he has to be transferred to hospital.

Got this off http://www.livejournal.com/users/tas007/

You taste like filet mignon. You are the epitome
of fine taste and everyone knows it. You are
expensive, well aged, and in demand!


How do you taste?
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A woman and her boyfriend are out for New Years having a few drinks.

While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.

After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar - a salt shaker, a shot of Baileys and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

"First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice."

So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it. He puts the salt on his tongue! Salty but okay. He drinks the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks - this is okay. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it .... in one second the sharp lime taste hits... at two seconds the Baileys curdles... at three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits. This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend. She smiles widely at him and says, "So, how did you like it? It's called a Blow Job .........Revenge!"

Laura reached a milestone today. Actually she reached a light switch, which something she hasn't been able to do. A whole new world has opened to her.

I thought her trousers were getting short ...

Well, as my ghost is well and truly back, I thought I would start a competition to see if we can think of a nickname for him.

He is a stout man, in his late 50's and wearing (maybe) a dark suit, but certainly dark coloured clothes.

I have confirmation that he is back because my neighbour passed my front window the other evening and saw him sitting in one of the easy chairs in the lounge. She described him quite well actually

Which reminds me - today Laura's teacher asked her what her baby's name was. She said "babyRachel" and the teacher said "Rachel" and Laura said "No. BabyRachel"

A Host of Spirits (http://hostofspirits.blogspot.com/) invited folk to join her in writing a list of their wishes and fantasies. The idea is, you can wish for things for yourself, and things for the world.

Things for me
I would love the gift of healing. To be able to reach out and touch someone, and make them well. Ease their pain. Someone said there is a purpose in suffering illness, but sometimes - that purpose isn't a good enough excuse for me.

I would love to be able to fly. Host of Spirits said she would like to fly a broomstick, but me? I would like to be able to raise my arms like you can in dreams (you know those dreams?) and float off the ground, able to soar to any place I fancied. One of my heroines when I was a kid was The Flying Nun. Even now I can't watch Steel Magnolias ... well - you know what I mean

Wish for the world
Wow, this one is harder. HostofSpirits said she would remove the motivation towards violence. Yep - agreed. But I think violence stems from the base desire of greed. It is because we want that makes us violent towards our fellow man.

You know - this is such a hard one! I think of the things I want for the world, or for me, and then I think of the consequences. I was gonna say "reverse global warming" but what if it isn't polution etc that is causing it? What if it is Mother Earth's own way of changing things? Perhaps She does this regularly (every coupla million years or so!). Who am I to come along and wish it away?

I've not done a very good job of this one at all! Any one else wanna take the baton, and see if they can improve on my attempt?

Well, I just got off the phone to Mum.

I'm in a turmoil of emotion, and I just don't know where to start writing.

My Dad is getting worse. Way worse.

He is wandering, and being aggressive. He threatened to 'smack Mum in the gob' on Saturday morning, simply because he thought (at 6.45am) it was time to go visit my sister, and Mum doesn't leave till 8.45am or the staff don't let them in to see her. Well, they will let them in, of course, but it isn't convenient at that time, and unless it's an emergency, what's the point of upsetting the applecart?

Mum had the nurse round again today. She is going to see if she can get Dad some hospice time - maybe three days - to give Mum a break. He's getting her up at all times of the night, telling her it is time to get up and getting angry when she points out that it is only midnight.

He is refusing to wear the hearing aid that just cost them £1k+ (that they don't actually really have!) so he can't hear what folk are telling him. He fills in the blanks himself - generally filling them in with something that is as far from what was actually said as humanly possible. Then he gets mad when he either can't follow the conversation, or folk can't follow what he's on about.

He is losing weight hand over fist, and apparently looks like a refugee from Belsen. His pain is increasing, even though they have upped his morphine.

And poor Mum is coping with it all, down there, alone. I feel bloody awful. I feel so guilty. She shouldn't have to put up with this crap at her time of life. She has Sue on the one hand, Dad on the other, and no space in the middle for her.

Before I moved away, Sue had pushed me out so well that I didn't have any qualms about moving so far away. She wanted to be the 'favorite daughter' which was fine by me - she could also look after them when they got old and decrepit. Didn't work out that way though - Sue got ill and now she is decrepit, Dad is decrepit, Mum is doing the looking after, and there isn't a chance of me helping out in any practical way.

Even if I jumped on the next plane, it would just be a disaster. No one to watch the kids up here, so I would have to trog them down with me, which would be a circus and wouldn't give Mum any semblance of rest. That and they drive Dad nuts, so he would just get even crabbier.

I would love to go down and see them - sans kids - but I know also I would end up getting in a row with him. I know he's sick; I know he's dying. But I can't stand the way he is treating Mum, and I don't think being terminally ill gives you the right to be a complete bastard to the person who has loved you and stood by you for 40+ years, and is now breaking her heart watching you die.

My parents stay just under 15 miles from Hemel Hempstead.
Yesterday monring, Mum was at the kitchen sink when the explosion happened, her windows rattled and the Expelair slats blew in with the wind of it.

I hope the folk who were injured get well soon. I feel so bad for the folk whose homes were trashed by the force of the explosion, but - man! - what a miracle no one was killed!

Cheryl (http://madbaggagerambling.blogspot.com/) challenged some of us with the meme - 10 Things You Didn't Know About Me.

Problem : I'm struggling to think of 10 things - I tell everyone everything, if they sit down for too long! However - I'll give it my best shot. (You might notice several similarities between mine and Cheryl's - plagiarism is the purest form of flattery... )

1. I can feel the difference in weight/thickness between 10p pieces that are different ages, just by holding them in my hands.

2. I used to have an alias, with a whole different life, and one day - her world collided with mine!

3. This is my second marriage. The first one didn't last a year, and was a MASSIVE mistake.

4. I got my motorbike licence years before my car licence.

5. I can read the Tarot and the Runestones, but don't do it for others anymore, coz sometimes I don't like what I see.

6. I love weeding.

7. I have negro in my ancestry (somewhere - no idea where!) as evidenced by a) my hair , and b) my son's mongol spots.

8. I hate Marmite!

9. I wanted to be either a teacher or a lawyer, when I was at school, and I'm damn glad I'm neither.

10. I almost joined 43things but could only think of 8, so I didn't bother.

Man, how boring is this meme?!?

Oh, and I just found out that I'm supposed to tag folk to do this as well! So - hmm, Tasha, Kate, Menhir, Nonny, Jon-the-Man (you may not be writing, but are you still reading?), Angel, Gaynor, Sarah, Submarg ... oh, anyone who reads this! And don't forget to post a comment so I can go read YOUR meme!

Just finished Thud! by Terry Pratchett. Another Discworld novel, that was much like all the other Discworld novels ever written - very amusing.

I sat down one time and read every Discworld novel, in order, one after the other. An interesting exercise. You can read then as stand alone books, without any reference back to the previous ones. Or you can read them as they come out, and not really take notice that there are references in the later ones to earlier ones.

However, sitting down and reading one after the other opens a whole new world! I was amazed by the little details that are missed reading them as they are published. You don't notice things that are referred to in the third book, for example, that refer back to something insignificant that happened in the first.

If you are a Discworld fan, try it.

We have a Dancing Santa that my MIL gave Anthony for his first (or maybe 2nd) Christmas. It sings :

"I'm the Dancing Santa, I love to bring you toys
I have something in my sack for every girl and boy.
Down the chimney and under the tree
there's a gift for everyone
Back to my sleigh, Up up and away!
Have a very Merry Christmas"

And he dances. Badly. However, the kids have all been entralled by him, and this year, Rachel was introduced to him

So - here is a pic of the kids, two of whom are watching Santa dance, and the one we wanted to impress - watching her big bro dance

Here is a pic of the guys - Wookie is the black and Yoda the grey. They are brothers, and about 5 months old now. Really must remember to get them castrated.

I really wanted to name Wookie 'Groucho' because of his 'tache, but Yoda and Groucho didn't really work together.

Well, on Friday, our ghost turned up again I was standing at the kitchen sink, and it was dark, so you could see behind you thru the reflection in the window glass. I saw someone walk past the kitchen door, going along the hall. I thought it was Anthony, but it seemed a bit taller, and then seconds later (way too quick for it to have been him) I heard him and his sister upstairs in his bedroom. So - ghost is here, just keeping schtumn. Okay.

Saturday, there was a fantastic sunset. Here's a pic:

However, in rushing outside to take a pic, because it was so breathtaking, I fell down the front steps. I lay outside for a good couple of minutes before the wee man came out and found me. By which time I was feeling a bit better, so didn't need his Daddy to come rushing to my aid. I still have a sore arm, sore shoulders, and slightly sore hip. Nice compliment to my sore back.

Today when I was cleaning out the rabbits, I came out of the playhouse (where they are over-wintering) and cracked my head a good one on the doorframe. It is kid-sized - I'm not. Nearly broke me teeth when they clacked together.

Came back in the house, took off my overalls in the laundry room for washing, put my gloves away in the cupboard and shut the cupboard door on my chin.

Ger wouldn't let me up the ladder to put the christmas lights up outside the house. Wonder why

And finally - to put the cream on the cake of my weekend, Jon-the-Man http://shithappens.blog.co.uk/main/ has decided to stop blogging. I'm gutted.

There was an article in the Scotsman today about how the gentry in the Borders are annoyed at having to lug their wheelie bins to the bottom of their (extensive) driveways.

http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=2374402005

This amused the heck outta me. Yes - there are a lot of potential issues for the elderly. However, my neighbour has to load her rubbish into the boot of her car, and drive to her wheelie bin, for this very reason. (You can see her bin at the top left of my property - at the end of her lane). There is no way she could haul her bin to the end of her lane, particularly in the winter, so she leaves it where the council will collect it, and takes the rubbish there.

You can see a pic of my house at the top of my blog, and my bin is at the gate, which is on the lane on the left hand side of the pic. It takes me a short while to collect up the rubbish, walk to the bins, and then walk back. In my old house, I opened the back door, lifted the lid and dropped the rubbish in. It took all of 30 seconds to take it to the end of the drive once a week.

I now live in a beautiful house, with loads of privacy, and a nice plot of land. The landed gentry also have lovely houses (much nicer than mine, I am sure), and also have loads of land (loads more than me, without a doubt).

Quite frankly, I think they have a nerve to complain about having to take their rubbish out. They should be damn grateful that they are in a position to have a long walk to the end of their drives. I am! The people who live in the high flats don't complain to the papers about having to take their rubbish down 20 storeys to their wheelie bins!

I lost touch with a woman I used to know several years ago, called Clarissa Sharp, and I often think of her. I've googled her name, to no avail - it seems she has a popular name! She lived in Oklahoma, was married to a bloke named Tony, from Wales, and had a daughter, whose middle name was Rhiannon.

Yeah - long shot! You never know though - someone might know her!

When we were in Australia, we were walking along the equivalent of the High Street in Adelaide (we rarely visited Adelaide btw) and this woman shouted my Mum - they had gone to school together in Wales.

So - small world.

Got asked by menhir what SPD is. It is Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction.

Okay - so what is that?

"The two halves of your pelvis are connected at the front by a stiff joint called the symphysis pubis. This joint is strengthened by a dense network of ligaments which means that under normal conditions, very little movement occurs. In order to make your baby's passage through your pelvis as easy as possible, your body produces a hormone called relaxin, which softens the ligaments in your pelvis. As a result, these joints move more during and just after pregnancy.

What are the symptoms?
Pain in the pubic area and groin are the most common symptoms. You may also suffer from back pain in pregnancy, posterior pelvic pain or hip pain. It is common to feel a grinding or clicking in your pubic area and the pain may travel down the inside of one or more thighs or between your legs. The pain is usually made worse by separating your legs, walking, going up or down stairs or moving around in bed. It is often much worse at night and can stop you getting much sleep. Getting up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night can be especially painful.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk

When I was pregnant with the wee man, I got SPD, which got worse with each subsequent pregnancy. With Rachel, it was sheer agony, and I could barely put one foot infront of the other.

After I had her, of course, we were too ill to worry about the post partum physio exercises that they give you ... in fact, we never got any because we were in the hospital attached to our respective tubes and stuff.

So - it seems that this lack of care is what has caused the current problem. I was at the physio this afternoon, and it appears I have a severe pelvic instability. She showed me that if you put your hands on my hips and moved my legs in a certain way, my hips moved when they weresupposed to stay still. They aren't supposed to do that apparently. She's given me strict instructions not to be lifting the girls, (or anything heavier than a cup of coffee it seems!) and a small list of exercises that I've to do faithfully 3 times a day, every day for the next 2 weeks.

My posture is non existant, and I was appalled to be shown exactly how I am standing, instead of standing straight. I look like some little old wife of 80 instead of a sprightly 40-something. I know what caused that! It was holding Rachel and hunching over her - a protective reflex - trying to protect her within my arms, from the world. When I was able to hold her again, after they took the tubes and monitors off her, I can distinctly remember curling myself around her wee body.

Man, no wonder I've got backache!

Maybe I didn't love you
Quite as often as I should have
Maybe I didn't treat you
Quite as good as I should have
If I made you feel second best
I'm so sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Maybe I didn't hold you
All those lonely, lonely nights
And I guess I never told you
I'm so happy that you're mine
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
Oh yea..oh yes

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Baby yea
Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died oh yea
Baby
Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied
Cuz you were always on my mind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Actually it was a mole, and it wasnt loose. The cats had it. Specifically Wookie, who brought it in, and then proceeded to torment the poor wee soul in the kitchen. I closed the door. Back to Ostriches!

The noise stopped, and there was silence for a while, so I decided that the poor wee mite was out of its misery, and into my cat's belly.

Wrong!

All that happened was I gave Yoda the opportunity for his turn. He took it into the utility room, and spent a good half hour making it scream. I have a strong suspicion what they were in a previous life.

Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore, so I went in and took the little guy off Yoda, inspected him, found no injuries, so ejected him thru the cat flap.

Exit Yoda. Returning with said mole, and carried on tormenting.

This time, I took no shit, stomped into the utility room, grabbed the mole and threw him out the front garden.

Where, hopefully, he will live out his mole years, well into senility, where he can sit in his little mole hole, regailing baby moles with the time when he was young and he was taken prisoner by The Cats Up At The House, how they tried to break him, but he was steadfast and escaped unscathed back to tell his sorry tale.

Either that or the fox will get him.

I can't decide if I'm being an ostrich about the world. I was looking at the headlines in The Scotsman - I get these mailed to me each morning, and I can click on the link to read the full article, if I want.

Yesterday, there was a headline "Saddam in rage as trial hears torture claim - THE first witness to face Saddam Hussein in court told yesterday of the horrors committed under the former Iraqi dictator's rule, including the use of a meat grinder and torture."

Now, I could have clicked on that link and read all about the gory details, but you know - I just couldn't. I know that the things that went on were bloody awful. I know that 'humanity' isn't very humane, and that, at the drop of a hat it seems, we are prone to rushing out and committing as many atrocities as humanly possible within the shortest space of time. Both sides do it. And whoever wins, their atrocities get swept away under a whitewash of propaganda. The folk who lose - they are the bad guys who committed dreadful acts of torture and evil , and oh my! aren't we glad we stopped them on time - aren't we wonderful!

But - going back to my original point - I don't want to have to read the grisly details. I don't want to know what they did with the meat grinder. My imagination can supply enough details without any help from the press, thank you.

Does this make me part of the problem? Am I one of those Germans who turned a blind eye as they saw their Jewish neighbours being carted off to their doom?

You know - I might be. And that scares me even more.

She and Anthony were chasing round the living room tonight, and Laura got ahead of him. Typical competitive boy – he decided this wasn’t good, so he cheated and pushed her.

The combined speed of the running, the push, and her own weight, and she crashed into the doorframe face first.

I thought for a couple of minutes that she had fractured her cheekbone, but after the liberal application of ice, the swelling reduced and now she just has a massive bruise and a bit of swelling on the cheek, and a black eye.

What’s she like, eh?

Had both the girls weighed this morning.

Laura has lost weight. She has gone from 17kg down to 16kg in two months. This is fine though, and I’m not worried. Neither is the health visitor. She’s stretched, and is running about. She has fallen from the high 90th %ile to the high 80’s.

Rachel has gone the other way! She has put on just over half a kg in a month, taking her to 9.525kg (21lbs). This takes her from the 25th %ile to the high 40’s!

Rachel had her appt this morning for the dietician and she is as pleased with her progress as I am. It was definitely the formula she was getting that was making her ill. We are giving her the minimum before she starts getting ill on it, and her appetite and (obviously) weight have increased well. She doesn’t need to go back till end Feb, and if she is still well, I don’t need to take her back at all.

Smiley happy people

First one : puredawn http://beautiful.blog.co.uk/main/ made a post the other day about working in Knightsbridge. In consultation, I have discovered we worked there at the same time.

Second one : menhir http://myword.blog.co.uk/main/ just graduated from Edinburgh University. I used to work there.

Third one : kate1978 http://timetomoveon.blog.co.uk/main/ is going to stay at a hotel in Milton Keynes shortly. I used to live there.

No conclusions. Just these three things have jumped out at me the last few days.

Well, Lala was 3 today.
Three years old!
Man, when I think back on that first day. It seems like FOREVER ago!

S'funny but everyone says about their kids - "oh, it only seems like they were just born." I feel that way about Rachel, and about Anthony in a way, but not Lala. I feel like she has been here forever. Not in a bad way - don't get me wrong. It's just like - I guess it's because she is like such a clone of me. She looks like I did at that age. She's as stroppy as I was (and still am!). She's as MAD at the world as I was, too. So, because I have been with me forever (my forever) then it feels like she's been here right along side me.

Anyway, we didn't celebrate her birthday today. We celebrated it yesterday, and told her it was yesterday as well. Thing was - today is Monday, and the folk who wanted to share her birthday (Daddy, Aunt A, Uncle L, Grannie, Granda) couldn't be here on a Monday.

So - they all piled up yesterday, and we did the Happy Birthday thing, the cake, the presents, and so on. She was confused. She knew something wasn't quite right, but was willing to humour us. The boy was sworn to secrecy because he was in on the deal. Rachel just wanted both hands in the cake, asap, so she didn't care when it was!

Here's a pic of the wee man, Aunty A (in the background), and me & Lala cutting the cake.

Now, that cake. Every time we went to the grocery shop, she went up to that cake, and said she wanted it for her birthday. I always said "No - it isntyour birthday yet - you can have it when it's time". So, yesterday, Ger took her to the shop, and she lifted the cake again. Ger said did she want it? And she said "No - it's not time yet". That was the start of her confusion - when Ger said that yes, actually, it was, and she could have it today. Here's a pic of the cake.

She didn't care about the Princesses on the cake - just the fact that the cake was pink. She's got this thing about pink.

Weird thing she did tonight - I lay next to her in bed, giving her a cuddle before she went to sleep. I was a wee bit cross with her, because we'd already done the bath, story, cuddle, "off to sleep" thing, and she wouldn't. So, I was back cuddling again, when it was really the boy's turn. She started pinching the air beside my arm and flicking whatever off me and out the side of the bed. Anyone ever see Phoebe from 'Friends' do that? Clearing someone's aura? I asked her what she was doing, and she giggled and said "cleaning the bits". I reckon she could see my crossness floating about around me, and was trying to chill me out. It worked

Wow, what a great day! I spent most of the day outside in the polytunel, pruning the grapevine right back, and getting the rest of the grapes off. Anyone know anything I can do with a whole stack of grapes (apart from make wine)?

I also cut the strawberries right back to their parent-plants - got loads for next year - yum! Can't wait for those!

Dumped the tomato plants too. The plants went into the composter and the fruits that I hadn't already harvested (yuck! rotten tomato fruits) went to the chooks. They loved them!

Then I cleaned out the rabbit cages, and the henhouse.

Finally - I FINISHED MY ESSAY!!!!!!!!!!

I love productive days where I get loads done, and someone else watches the kids for me!

i'm sitting here, typing with one hand, with a sick & snotty baby wrapped around my torso.
she's been up crying and coughing for the last 2 nights, and i'm exhausted.
i can feel her lungs gurgling beneath my left hand, as i hold her close, and feel the heat coming off her little body while we wait for the calpol to kick in. "if you've got kids, you'll understand" is their motto. god they are so right!
she's been digging in her ear - so she's obviously got earache on top of everything else. (that's an emoticon of a baby digging in her ear, btw - not a crazy baby in this instance!)
gave her medised last night. it was like she was on speed. she zinged till 10.30 and then she stopped.
oh, well - looks like the essay is postponed for another night. so go on - open university - flunk me