Purple Dragon

Well, I just got off the phone to Mum.

I'm in a turmoil of emotion, and I just don't know where to start writing.

My Dad is getting worse. Way worse.

He is wandering, and being aggressive. He threatened to 'smack Mum in the gob' on Saturday morning, simply because he thought (at 6.45am) it was time to go visit my sister, and Mum doesn't leave till 8.45am or the staff don't let them in to see her. Well, they will let them in, of course, but it isn't convenient at that time, and unless it's an emergency, what's the point of upsetting the applecart?

Mum had the nurse round again today. She is going to see if she can get Dad some hospice time - maybe three days - to give Mum a break. He's getting her up at all times of the night, telling her it is time to get up and getting angry when she points out that it is only midnight.

He is refusing to wear the hearing aid that just cost them £1k+ (that they don't actually really have!) so he can't hear what folk are telling him. He fills in the blanks himself - generally filling them in with something that is as far from what was actually said as humanly possible. Then he gets mad when he either can't follow the conversation, or folk can't follow what he's on about.

He is losing weight hand over fist, and apparently looks like a refugee from Belsen. His pain is increasing, even though they have upped his morphine.

And poor Mum is coping with it all, down there, alone. I feel bloody awful. I feel so guilty. She shouldn't have to put up with this crap at her time of life. She has Sue on the one hand, Dad on the other, and no space in the middle for her.

Before I moved away, Sue had pushed me out so well that I didn't have any qualms about moving so far away. She wanted to be the 'favorite daughter' which was fine by me - she could also look after them when they got old and decrepit. Didn't work out that way though - Sue got ill and now she is decrepit, Dad is decrepit, Mum is doing the looking after, and there isn't a chance of me helping out in any practical way.

Even if I jumped on the next plane, it would just be a disaster. No one to watch the kids up here, so I would have to trog them down with me, which would be a circus and wouldn't give Mum any semblance of rest. That and they drive Dad nuts, so he would just get even crabbier.

I would love to go down and see them - sans kids - but I know also I would end up getting in a row with him. I know he's sick; I know he's dying. But I can't stand the way he is treating Mum, and I don't think being terminally ill gives you the right to be a complete bastard to the person who has loved you and stood by you for 40+ years, and is now breaking her heart watching you die.

My parents stay just under 15 miles from Hemel Hempstead.
Yesterday monring, Mum was at the kitchen sink when the explosion happened, her windows rattled and the Expelair slats blew in with the wind of it.

I hope the folk who were injured get well soon. I feel so bad for the folk whose homes were trashed by the force of the explosion, but - man! - what a miracle no one was killed!

Cheryl (http://madbaggagerambling.blogspot.com/) challenged some of us with the meme - 10 Things You Didn't Know About Me.

Problem : I'm struggling to think of 10 things - I tell everyone everything, if they sit down for too long! However - I'll give it my best shot. (You might notice several similarities between mine and Cheryl's - plagiarism is the purest form of flattery... )

1. I can feel the difference in weight/thickness between 10p pieces that are different ages, just by holding them in my hands.

2. I used to have an alias, with a whole different life, and one day - her world collided with mine!

3. This is my second marriage. The first one didn't last a year, and was a MASSIVE mistake.

4. I got my motorbike licence years before my car licence.

5. I can read the Tarot and the Runestones, but don't do it for others anymore, coz sometimes I don't like what I see.

6. I love weeding.

7. I have negro in my ancestry (somewhere - no idea where!) as evidenced by a) my hair , and b) my son's mongol spots.

8. I hate Marmite!

9. I wanted to be either a teacher or a lawyer, when I was at school, and I'm damn glad I'm neither.

10. I almost joined 43things but could only think of 8, so I didn't bother.

Man, how boring is this meme?!?

Oh, and I just found out that I'm supposed to tag folk to do this as well! So - hmm, Tasha, Kate, Menhir, Nonny, Jon-the-Man (you may not be writing, but are you still reading?), Angel, Gaynor, Sarah, Submarg ... oh, anyone who reads this! And don't forget to post a comment so I can go read YOUR meme!

Just finished Thud! by Terry Pratchett. Another Discworld novel, that was much like all the other Discworld novels ever written - very amusing.

I sat down one time and read every Discworld novel, in order, one after the other. An interesting exercise. You can read then as stand alone books, without any reference back to the previous ones. Or you can read them as they come out, and not really take notice that there are references in the later ones to earlier ones.

However, sitting down and reading one after the other opens a whole new world! I was amazed by the little details that are missed reading them as they are published. You don't notice things that are referred to in the third book, for example, that refer back to something insignificant that happened in the first.

If you are a Discworld fan, try it.