Purple Dragon

Spent a lovely restful morning with my Mum, the kids all at school, so it was just me and her.

We decided to sit and make Xmas cards and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

Mum has decided she is going to buy some makings for herself so she can sit in the evening with her friend from across the hall, and they can make some cards and drink some wine. I shall be interested to see the results of that evening

Anyway. Restful. Except for the aching thumbs from cutting out fiddley little bits and pieces.

This afternoon we are away to Banff to try and find the boy something to wear guising tonight. He hasn't been before and although he has a mask, he has no costume to go with it.

Yesterday I went into a local cafe with my Mum.

I hate baked beans, and the only time I have ever been able to eat them in my life is when I've been pregnant.

Yesterday I had a jacket potato with baked beans and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

If I hadn't been sterilised, I would be quite worried!

It would appear that the wee girl who twisted her foot maybe actually broke it. She went for x-rays this morning, and she has to go back on Friday to see if it is actually broken or if it is just an anomaly in the foot and the sprain is causing the swelling.

Great.

I had to make a special trip to the recycling today t get rid of the acres of cardboard that came with all his pressies. What the heck is with all that packaging? It's not necessary. For gods sakes you have to CUT your way into most of the toys!

We currently have a test tube alien growing on the kitchen window shelf. Nice.

In other news, I don't think I told you that my FILs brother died last week. His funeral was this morning. My poor FIL was knocked sideways when he was told B had died, so close on the heels of my MIL. Apparently he had an anuerism burst in his stomach. I have no idea what that is, but it sounded painful.

Just bought two new Xmas trees.
One is a light-tube (what is the proper word for them?), spiralling down from a glass star, and as the spiral goes down, there are glass bulbs hanging from it. Triangular shape. that is supposed to be for outside but I think it is too fragile afer all. Perhaps I will put it in the small hall.
The other is a standard green tree, fibre optic, which will save me decorating a tree for the living room. The kids decorate the one for the playroom (save us!) and I am considering a real one for the big hall that I can then plant out in the garden after the event. I reckon a 12' one will look nice.

Well, yesterday my oldest was eight years old. I can remember having him like it wasyesterday. I always seem to get swamped in memories around their birthdays, even down to smells and colours. I wonder if that will always be?

He was up at the crack of dawn, typical kid!, and practically dragged everyone out of bed so he could open his pressies. He seemed quite chuffed with the difts he received, and he played well with them.

His friends started turning up for his party around 1.30 and we piled 10 kids and three adults into two cars for the hour drive ino Aberdeen, and The Boardwalk.

They played on the machines for a wee while, waiting for their shot in the Laser Tag. One of the staff was dressed up in The Scream mask, and he went in and chased them about, givin them scares with the luminous mask.

Half an hour and three injuries later (a twisted ankle, a scared of the dark/mask and an almost heat-stroke) and they started their 10-pin bowling; another half hour and they hit the meal-room where they were filled up with junk food and soft drinks.

The meal-room was excellent - all done up like the inside of a space ship with flashing lights and those electric things - you touch the glass and the electricity comes to your fingertips. Dunno what they're called.

Most of the staff were fantastic and really helpful - excellent with the kids and they seemed (on the whole) to be enjoying themselves as well.

At the end of it, they all were given a voucher and allowed to go to the shop to choose a 'gift'. Most of them chose a gun and a couple chose Slinkies.

Drove back to mine and they all piled out, only to pile back in one or two at a time so I could run them home, clutching party bags and still hyper on the afternoon.

Overheard comments:

"This was the best party I've ever been to - I never get good parties like this!"

"I'm having loads of fun with this gun. My Mum doesn't let me have guns"

Anyway - the boy had fun, and it was worth every penny

It is No1Child's 8th birthday tomorrow. More on that tomorrow - suffice to say, he's been totally hyper today.

Took him to choose his birthday cake this morning. He decided on a football.

Got his hair cut as well. He looked like a Beatle - John Lennon sans spex?

The other two needed their hair trimmed as well, although not properly cut as such, coz I want their hair long. Typically, about 10 minutes before we were due to leave, No3Child fell over and smacked her head off the dog's bone, blood everywhere, much screaming - you know the scene. No stitches required, but she only got her fringe trimmed.

The joys.

Thanks to Stoney's Blog (http://stonehead.wordpress.com/) I have been reintroduced to the wonderful world of fairies. I'm just gonna give you two links, to two pictures, of fairies.

One is a fossilised fairy :

http://raincoaster.com/2006/11/24/pic-o-the-day-fossilized-fairy/

and the other, a mummified fairy :

http://raincoaster.com/2007/04/01/mummified-fairy-remains-found/

These are totally excellent. I love fairies! We have a fairywoods nearby here, and the kids are desperate to spend some time there, fairy-watching, but unfortunately the woods are on private land.

I have never seen one myself unfortunately, but I read a book a long time ago by a witch called Lois Bourne who had seen piskies washing their socks in Cornwall.

Abortion debate reignited by baby born at 23 weeks 5 days
LINDSAY MCINTOSH (lmcintosh@scotsman.com)

THE government has no plans to lower the legal limit on abortion because there is no medical evidence to support a change, a senior UK health minister said yesterday.

Dawn Primarolo told MPs that despite scientific advances, a foetus's chances of survival had not improved and the upper limit of 24 weeks should not be reduced.

However, her comments came as it emerged a British baby had been born at 23 weeks and five days and was battling to stay alive in a neo-natal unit.

http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1700372007

I feel like complete shite today.

Woke up this morning totally spaced out. Could hardly walk in a straight line. I have a terrible headache and a sore throat, and I keep feeling really sick. I have been in Himself's bed all day (his is downstairs, so I can keep an ear on the kids). The Boy has been put in charge of watching his sisters, to make sure they aren't drawing on the walls or something, but Middle Child is being a diva and insisting on parental involvement in every damn thing she can think of.

Last Wednesday I order food for Lala from an online shop selling gluten free foods. Got a phone call Thursday morning making sure I would be in on Friday to receive said order. Waited in all day Friday - no show. Sent them an email asking where the stuff was. Phoned mid morning this morning to see what the story was, left a message on the answerphone. Phoned again at 1.5 to be told that the order was still on their premises because their normal courier wouldn't deliver it without another £40 charge. Apparently someone was supposed to phone me Thursday to tell me it would be a little longer. They offered to deliver it tomorrow, but I am picking Mum up from the airport. I decided that as they couldn't get their act together, told me conflicting information, and couldn't manage to reply to either email or telephone queries, I would just cancel the damn order and use someone else. They weren't bothered.

I have the idea that I should rename my blog, something along the lines of "read this and be depressed" or "Moaning Myrtles Place" or something similar.

Yes, today is yet another moan and groan.

I don't know what I have done to my shoulder but it hurts like heck. It starts at the point where neck meets shoulder, and travels down my back to the middle, and all down my arm to my elbow, which feels like I have bashed the funny bone. So, I think I have a trapped nerve in my neck. Also, it is a little swollen. Maybe because I keep rubbing it all the time to try and loosen it up.

I also have a ear infection (or the other side), which really hurts and feels like I have a balloon in my ear canal.

And a sore throat.

I hardly slept last night for the pain, but when I woke this morning, I was feeling better. Unfortunately, bad planning left me with no potatoes, so I nipped to the shop. Big mistake. My shoulder and arm/back started throbbing again, and I was actually feeling sick.

It is so sore now that I have finally given in and taken some painkillers. I hate these because they knock me out, but needs must.

best regards
Moaning Myrtle
feeling sorry for herself

Eight (plus) years ago, I joined a Yahoo group of Mums whose babies were due to be born in October 1999. My first child was due late in the month, and as he was going to be my first, and as I was a long way away from home, I wanted to share my experience with other women going thru the whole 'new baby' thing.

In that group was a girl we called Leigh. That wasn't her name, but that is what we called her, then.

Eight years ago today, 'Leigh' gave birth to Conor. Today, Conor should have been eight years old.

But he got sick with a leukaemia called JMML and on 4th February 2004, he left us.

When Conor got sick, 'Leigh' opened a website for him, and she has just made a new entry, partly to welcome her new son - Samuel - into the world, and here is the link

http://www.caringbridge.org/canada/conorford/index.htm

Go say "Hi!" and wish Conor a happy birthday

... when your mind is whirling, your body starts doing freaky stuff as well.

When I'm stressed, I can feel my blood pounding in my head. It doesn't last long, fortunately. Just a minute or two, until my temper cools.

When Sue is ill,(and when ill was ill to dying), I get this pain in the left side of my chest and down my left arm. Again, a stress symptom, not a heart attack!

And I always get a stiff neck when I am tired. Today it is down the right side of my neck and my shoulder.

I just think it is interesting how you can hide from the things in your mind, but your body shows you up. Treacherous really! Betrayed by your own body.

Does anyone else get stress symptoms like these, or others that my subconscious can catalogue away for next time?

That is how I feel just now. I'm not inviting comments on this one, either, because I just don't feel like 'talking' talking, if you know what I mean. I just want to say stuff, but I don't want to listen. Probably narrow minded, but it's my blog, as they say.

Anyway.

Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep, Sue came into my room. A bit of a feat, you may say, as she is in a locked ward in a nursing home some 600 miles away, and probably in a mildly drugged sleep.

But she came in, stood just inside the doorway, and said "It's okay, Cazie - I'm alright now".

As she came in, I sat up, and as she spoke, so drifted away, faded, and I thought is was yet another nightmare in the acculumation of nightmares I have been having most nights for weeks uncounted. Most of them are about the kids, and something terrible happening to them. I won't discuss them as I don't want to feed the demon.

I did what I always do when woken from a nightmare. I turned on the light. I walked the house. Checked the children. Checked the doors. Stood in the living room, in the dark, and listened to the children breathing, the house breathing, the night sleeping. Had a drink of water. Went back to bed and slept.

There was no surprise when I got the mail from Mum telling me she was ill again.

She is drifting. She slips in and out. One minute she is lucid ... or as lucid as she ever is nowadays. Then, she is gone. Levels between not responding although aware, right thru to comatose.

Mum and I have talked and we think the disease has started on the part of her brain that keeps her tied here. We think it is like a lightbulb that is not quite connected to the electricity. She comes on - a light you can connect with; and then the neurons flicker and she is gone. Soon, we think, those neurons will flicker their last, and she will be comatose, unwakeable, unreachable.

We wondered what would go first. The bit that tells her heart to beat. The bit that tells her lungs to breathe. But it seems it much be gentler than that. That she might just drift away.

I can't let these tears flow. They may never stop.

Sister has just been ambulanced back into hospital.

Took the sprogs for their blood tests this morning.

I was a bit miffed because the Dr seemed to think I was wanting these tests myself, instead of because the Dietician recommended it.

Anyway, he did Rachel very well - she hardly made a sound, even though the emla cream had been smeared and she didn't really have the numb bit. What a little trouper. She just said "Ow, that hurts" but she hardly struggled at all. Mind you - I had her on my lap in a deathgrip, and the nurse had her hand in a similar hold, so that she couldn't struggle.

Unfortunately things didn't go so well with the boy. He wriggled a wee bit when the needle went in, so the Dr had to take it out and start again at another site. He wriggled a LOT and was near to tears, but his second site had no emla cream on at all, so it must have hurt.

Anyway, that is now done. We get the results in a week. Please, people, hold in your thoughts that these two are okay!

Well, I have read with interest everything my pals have written for Blog Action Day. However, I have been at a loss to do anything interesting or different.

Should I blog about my own green efforts? Nah - I've made my practices known in the comments I have left on other blogs.

Education was covered by SMinchin.
A pictorial was done by AJ.
Lindow despaired, Menhir considered her mercury fillings, somebloke covered the NIMBYs.

Ho hum - what to do? What to do?

Last night as I lay in my bed, I had it all planned out. Every word written and rewritten. I was pleased with the outcome. As I sit here, I had forgotten even what I was going to write.

I suppose I could consider how our environment affects our health. I could wonder what it is that causes those in the north of Scotland to suffer more incidence of MS than those further south. It seems to cluster polar-ly. (Is that a word?).

I could wonder why coeliac disease is more prevalent in the east (or was it the west) cost of Ireland that anywere else in the world.

I can ask if anyone (apart from me) believes that pylons cause childhood cancers, and consider relating the tale of living under one, suffering from the worse case of mental illness I have ever suffered causing me to become a recluse in my own home. And about when I moved, how I have never felt fear walking out my door since.

I can consider the esoteric side of the environment. About how Gaia is a living organism with lines of power running thru her, much like the lines of energy running thru the human body. Human ones are called meridians; Gaia's are called ley lines. Someone once hypothesised to me that the pylons disrupt the lines of power and cause illness - when the leys are cut they become 'black streams' and pollute the energy of the area. The motorways, the housing estates, the quarries, all built in places where they disrupt the power of the planet.

And now I have lost the already rambling train of thought after a telephone call, so I will sit at peace now.

I have, once again, changed my email address. Hopefully, this will be the last one for a goodly while!

Any of my friends with a subscription option on their blog will see me appear as someone else Can you delete the old me? Ta

Edited : If you haven't got a 'subscribe to this blog' thing on your blog, how do you expect me to keep up with everything going on in your life?!? Do it! Do it NOW!

Conversation with smallest child today

SC : I don't want to go to playgroup today.
Me : OK
SC : I hate playgroup
Me : OK
SC : Do I have to go to playgroup today?
Me : No
SC : Later today?
Me : No
SC : I don't want to go to playgroup later
Me : OK
SC : Am I going to playgroup later?
Me : No
SC : I WANT TO GO TO PLAYGROUP (scream, wail, cry)

Oh, deary me. I think that every single thing in my daughter's diet (that she likes) contains wheat. It is depressing me, so goodness knows how she is going to feel once this diet is established.

I have cleared out a cupboard for her food. I need to retrieve the old toaster from the garage so she has her own one, and I have a spare tupperware for her bread and so on, so that our food doesn't contaminate hers. I need to empty our deep dryer because I have been cooking shop bought chips in it, and I found out today they have wheat in them. Wheat in chips. Honest. So that will need emptied, cleaned and refilled. I wouldn't mind so much if I hadn't only just done it.

She's been invited to a party. I shall have to provide all her own food for that. I hope the other kids don't notice.

Thanks to the postal strike, we haven't received her starter pack from Coeliac UK so I am still a bit at a loss as to what she can have to eat. I went with a pal of mine to Tesco yesterday, but the gluten free bread in there would have made some fine brickwork. I shall have to make my own.

The other two have their blood tests on Tuesday.

I have had a very frustrating day.

Because I have been both really budy and feeling poorly lately, upstairs has been rather left. I have been picking up, but not really giving it my all, and it has become rather grubby. So, today was cleaning day. I have cleaned my upstairs top to bottom and it looks brilliant. The kids tidied their rooms to enable me to see the carpet and vacuum.

Unfortunately, I then came downstairs to the disaster that three stuck-in-the-house-coz-of-the-shite-weather kids make. Oh. My. God. I cannot believe it. I swear there is more mess down here now than there was across the whole frickin house before I started this morning.

Anyway, they were told that their Dad would take them out tomorrow if the house was nice, but they would spend the day in if they didn't, so guess how my kids are spending Saturday?

In other news, I have been having a shite time with my email. I have now changed both my address and my email service provider, and hopefully things will now stay on track. I am so tired of it keep messing up. If you have emailed me, there is a fairly good chance I never got it, so I am not cutting you dead - email me again on my new address.

I decided that I needed some time to do something for me, so I phoned a friend who makes her own cards, and we hit the paper shop in Fraserburgh that had been recommended by another scrapbooking pal.

Oops!

£35 poorer, but richer with the makings of 100 cards, complete with envelopes.

I'm all excited. I've never made my own Xmas cards before, and I want to be a bit different this year, so I am looking forward to my first efforts.

Unfortunately, I'm not very artistic (unlike my pal) so it might be a bit hit and miss, but they will be made with love, so what the heck!

I feel wretched.

I have a rotten migraine coming, and I am shaking.

I still have the children to feed and put to bed, and it isn't even 5pm so it isn't happening for a goodly while yet, even though I would love to put them to bed right now.

I think the combination of my mother in law dying, my daughter having her biopsy and subsequent diagnosis, and nearly losing my sister last week is finally settling in and the stress is showing itself.

I feel at the end of my tether and I so need rest, but I also feel like a complete fraud and drama queen for not being able to cope with this. Other people cope well when they have SO MUCH more to cope with, so I should be able to cope with this lot.

Not waving but drowning.

Thoughts for this morning:

We keep some alcohol in the house, but it is generally what we have been given and we tend to keep it for when we go to parties and need to take a bottle along. Kind of alcoholic recycling.

I can't remember the last time I drank alcohol in the house.

I never drink to the point of inebriation. I haven't for several years now. I shall blame my pals Shaz and Drumboil for my previous state of pissed-ness.

However, since becoming an (unintentional) non-drinker, I have noticed that everyone seems to think that alcohol is 'the answer'.
Bad day? Get pissed.
Kids driving you nuts? Get pissed.
Man won't put his socks in the hamper? Get pissed.

Is this some thing that is UK cultural? Or Western cultural? How to folk who aren't allowed alcohol (ie Muslims) cope with stress?

How has 'getting pissed' become such an acceptable way of dealing with life, and considered the norm for a Saturday night? Why is a person's level of resistance considered cool? I just smell the cork, and I'm pissed, and that is considered uncool. Not offered people anything better than a Coke, a tea (abeit several different types) or a coffee on visiting is considered peculiar.

Hmm. The hospital beckons, so I have to go. I look forward to your comments.

I read a blog (http://stonehead.wordpress.com/) written by a fairly local bloke that I actually know IRL as well as online. He recently had a car smash into a disusesd cottage on his croft and he has started a campaign to try and get some warning signs put up on the bend, so that he has fewer people visiting his property.

A couple of days ago, a 21 year old girl from our village lost her life. She crashed her motorbike into a bus when going round a corner, from what I hear. Obviously the facts will come out over time, but I passed the accident and it didn't look good. I was terribly upset and was nearly in tears after seeing it. What a waste of a young life.

Yesterday, I took Himself's car to get some fuel. I generally drive a people carrier that is quite high off the ground - you have to step up into it. Himself drives a standard family saloon. It was an interesting difference. I drive my car like a slow old bus. I tend to poodle along, not too fast, not too slow. I have a very high centre of gravity, and take corners very very slowly. His car, however, has a very low centre of gravity and I felt I could take the corners with a little more oomph, but because I was so low, I felt like I was dragging my arse along the ground, and I couldn't see over the hedges, so the balance was - same speed. It was rather alarming to crest a hill and find a tractor coming at me, because in my car I would have spotted the tractor a goodly distance beforehand.

My point - why do people drive their cars the way they do?
What do you drive?
How do you drive it?
Do you think you are Sterling Moss and invincible?
Do you drive like some old bloke in a flat cap and slow for a leaf coming off a tree?

My man drives like an old woman. He drives me nuts, and I want to rip the steering wheel out of his hand, kick him into the back seat, and stick my foot down to bring the car up to 30mph. I do breathing exercises to stem these impulses, though, so don't panic.

Today on the way to swimming I was stuck behind said old bloke c/w flat cap. He literally drove like an old woman. He actually stopped at the junction ... but about 15 feet from the end of the road, before the junction, then edged forward to hit the line, changed down, handbrake on, checked both ways, into first, handbrake off, slowly pulled away. I know he turned his indicator off manually because he put the right one on briefly. Now this sort of bloke is as bad as the boy racer type because he is the type that causes folk who want to do more than 15mph on the motorway to do reckless things to get the hell away from him. The annoyed and impatient driver then overtakes at the first opportunity and promptly smashes into the car coming out of the hidden lane further up the road.

Incidentally - I didn't overtake - I did my breathing exercises and chanted "I would rather get there late than not at all".

Middle child was just about the feed the mutt and instead of putting the can on food on the counter, she missed and dropped in onto the nail of her big toe. It was bleeding a wee bit, but is going to be a heck of a bruise come the morning.

I was heating up a couple of mince pies in the microwave (yeah, I know - gannet that I am). The machine pinged, so I put my hand in to touch the pies to see if they were hot, and got burned by the mince inside the pie. Naturally my hand flew up into the air, but the lapis lazuli/malachite bracelet I was wearing hit the top of the machine and cut my arm. Now the cut has a hard swelling under it about the size of a 20p piece and it quite red.

Because of all the drama about the toe, some stuff got spilled on the floor so I went to the cupboard to get some stuff to clear up the stuff, and I smacked the corner of the cupboard door into my chin.

I think I might get an early night.

LOL - pressed 'return' instead of 'tab' and ended this entry before I even started it

I am feeling pretty damn fab today

I think it is endorphins. I took the wee one swimming this morning. They have a Parent & Toddler thing where no one else is allowed in the pool, and they have balls and floats and stuff to play with. There was me and one other mum/daughter combo there, and that was it - she reckons that she is usually there herself. I spent nearly 3/4 hour pushing Rachel up and down the pool on a floaty thing, which was great exercise for my thighs and belly, hence the endorphins thing.

I think it is hugely important for kids to learn to swim. I can't swim - I could probably save my life I guess, but not with anything resembling style. If any of my kids fell in the river, I would probably just pull them under instead of saving them. And me married to a qualified swimming instructor.

However, the woman I was mentioning above has a stomach like a washboard and thighs that don't know the meaning of the word 'wobble' so I am inspired to deal with my own wobbly bits sharpish so I don't have the humiliation of her getting lost behind my vast bulk.

And did yu know that Michelle Pfeiffer is 49 years old? She should be locked up be an inspiration to all us over-40's ladies.

The first pic is of my wee girl on her first day of 'school' - playgroup actually. She looks adorable

The second is of my new trolley. Ever since Subz got hers, I've been dead jealous and wanted one myself, and today one came up on FreeCycle, so I jumped at the chance, and here it is! Ger reckons I need to get myself a wee Scottie dog now to match!

... that Sister went into hospital with MRSA, picked up from the nursing home where she lives.

This was the mysterious infection that the (home) Dr initially didn't want to treat because he didn't know what it was. Far be if from me to suggest he take swabs / blood tests to see what her infection was! Remember Mum commenting on the previous Tuesday that Sue was hot to touch and them saying the Dr would attend her on Thursday?

When she was admitted to hospital, they took swabs and the results were MRSA, but she had been treated before she was discharged and they think she is on the mend.

... and it was my Mum to tell me that sister's swab results were back - MRSA.

Oh, joy.

Got the phone call back from the hospital this morning to say that Lala definately has coeliac disease.

I have an appointment on Wednesday to discuss her treatment.

I'm gutted.

Or she will be tomorrow, anyway.

The hospital has made my sister better, cleared the salts from her system and whatever the infection was that she had. Her mouth ulcers are gone and they have been working on making her gum disease better too. She is coherent once again ... or at least, as coherent as she ever is.

They told Mum today that she will be sent back to the nursing home tomorrow, all being well, but that Mum isn't to visit because the journey will tire her out too badly and she will need to rest.

They also told her that the night she was admitted they thought she was going to die, because she was so ill.

And finally, they told her that they know the cause of this latest bout of illness - dehydration.

The nursing home has been issued with instructions on how to care for her and how much fluids she needs each day.

Mum is contacting Sue's social worker because she is going to make a formal complaint and ask for an enquiry as to how Sue was allowed to become SO dehydrated that a) she fell into unconsciousness and b) she nearly died because of the overload of poisons in her system.

I'm mad. The folk in that nursing home should be thanking their lucky stars tonight that I live in Scotland and not Buckinghamshire!

Flippin server won't accept my password

I dunno what has happened. I had a wee glip yesterday when I was looking at NADICS (or whatever it is called now) and my laptop hung. I rebooted and now I can't get my emails.

Grr!

You know, all my life, I wanted to be a Mum. That was all. I didn't want a high flying career, loads of money, flash cars, anything like that. I just wanted kids and a car big enough to get them to all their activities.

I had this dream that my kids would be well behaved, polite, helpful around the house, respectful, studious...

Ha!

I am a crappy mother, because my kids are anything but the description above.

My littlest one refused to go to playgroup this morning, refused in fact to get out of bed. In the end I lifted her and put her on the couch, brought her breakfast through to find she was back in bed. She eventually got peeled off me at playgroup and I am now sitting here ridden with guilt for making her go.

The middle child didn't bother telling me that she had used the last school t-shirt and she was now out of anything resembling a school uniform. That was at about 8.20 this morning. Naturally, this was my fault, and she proceeded to scold me, loudly, about being useless at keeping their clothes nice. As we were about to walk out the door, she mentioned that she couldn't find shoes, packed lunch or reading bag. Not that she minded, I think, because she was sitting on the bench in the hall playing with her sister's etch-a-sketch.

The oldest one was with a pal of mine and her son at the park last evening while middle child had her swimming lesson. On being told to stay away from the burn, what do both boys do? The exact opposite, even taking to balancing on the wee row of tree stumps beside said burn, and ultimately - you guessed it - falling in. Cue the complete ruination of the last pair of half decent trainers. He also found, just as we were walking out the door, that his school uniform top was nowhere to be found, and has attended school in one scavenged from the laundry pile.

I had to do breathing exercises before I got in the car to drive them to school (far too late this morning to walk). My hands were shaking, my heart was pounding, and I now have a mega-headache.

I hate mornings like this. Who stole those beautiful well presented and polite kiddies and replaced them with demon-children-from-hell?!?

Oh, no - sorry - I forgot ... it is all MY fault.

This is a YouTube video that had tears running down my face with laughter by the end of it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT365huJ5i4