I don't know if any of you do PAYE for the company you work for. I do. I hate it - it stresses me out beyond belief because it is too easy. They send you a CDROM with all the information on it, and all the calculations. You put in the month, the tax code and the net pay, and it tells you the deductions. I'm always convinced I have it wrong and men in black sunglasses and suits will be at my door to whip me off to debtors prison or something.

Anyway, I digress.

Each year, the HM Revenue & Customs issue you with a wee yellow booklet. Each month, you fill in the deductions bit, write out a cheque and give them loads of dosh. You have 13 payslips in the book. 12 for the months and a spare for the one you bugger up. They send you one every year.

Except - this year I didn't get mine. So I phoned them up this morning and the bloke said "Yeah, no one in the country has them yet. They didn't get printed on time. Here's the number to call, but you won't get thru because everyone is phoning to get their booklet. Oh, and if you have passed your payment date, you will need to speak to these folk, and make an arrangement for payment, so you don't get penalised."

Excuse me?

Right, they print these books every fucking year and they haven't gotten them printed in time this year? What - did they forget they needed them or something? Did they think we wouldn't notice?

Penalise ME. It was them who have let me down. I don't fucking think so!

But the best quote has to be "Here's the number to call, but you won't get thru". So - give me an email address or take a goddamn message you pillock!

This really is the government at it's best.